Something New...

There is always some something, or some someone with which(who) you run along in a perfectly parallel frequency, almost in unison. You give a lot and take back, just the joy of giving. Some humans find verbal give/take-back, their primary mode of communication and as for the fewer rest, visible words as in writing, seems far more ethereal and has a stronger impact. It's much less evasive and within their comfort zone. I belong here!

On a deeper insight, I analyzed that I don't write every event of the day with the minutest details. In fact, I have never owned a journal, just the fear of being read, overcame my desire to document my life so far. Just those few trivial moments reflecting on materialistic joy and unrealistic poetry occur in some pages of a notebook. These few words had more of exaggerated romance-spun-up tales that was not in much agreement with reality. It was not a case of 'never', but just 'rare'. Also to remind myself, there was never-and let me ascertain its credibility..NEVER,not once-a living human in whatever I wrote. Simply put-I never wrote about anybody! None-I felt-deserved the worth to be written about. I wasn't ready to fool myself by writing false emotions. There was also this disturbing theory, I held, which was:nothing could ever be written without false poetry. The truth should have an essential coat of fabrication-which thereby nullifies the very quality of 'truth'.

So I chose to not document my life.

 But, fate it seems had other plans. It made some sort of a deal with the strike of 2011!

Someone was destined to make an entry into my life to bring about a change. And here I am, sitting beside my very own journal-a nondescript physique, its contents-plain and having a strict adherence to truth, devoid of synthesized poetry. And it keeps growing daily...

For once in my life, I feel totally content and satisfied. These pages I keep creating, stand a true evidence of all that there ever was and all that we are yet to visit, in the lone lane of memories...

         The Return…

'The Present' just turned out to be a simple couple of days plus a year later. To say that I was a bit engaged with 'other things that required my immediate attention than blogging' would be like doing injustice to reality. But it's not entirely made-up. Being a sophomore was and will remain the best part of my college life. It's not something worth rationalizing or arguing about(well..if you're asking who..its me that's designing insignificant questions and wasting a clockful of time arguing about it with myself). Things just seemed to be at serene rest. Life was like the crazed-out bachelor who has nothing to worry about and nobody to question you-but wait! I'm indeed one, just a female version of the 'crazed-out bachelor', if you might call it. College was fun in its own freaky way. Just that I very rarely visited that place, they call 'college'. I had my own share of issues at college-nonetheless-they weighed incomparably silly to the fun, laughter and galatta. Wait, they were too insignificant I'm going to take back what I said :D! So it began and ended in the blink of an eye. It was all like the bland, meaningless crap one speaks when one is high. All, but a few-the real few humans and my encounters with them- were meaningless. These collective few might have seemed to be harmless and meaningless on the surface. Maybe the reason why i overruled them. But hell, a Trojan horse is a Trojan horse. Other than those handful, the world was at peace, or much coherently-like a simple straight line-no crests, no troughs-just a friggin' straight line. (Beware reader! I might carry a lot of contradictions as i go.)

Then, 2011 happened. And it sure rocked the boat. That, it did! A few many revelations hit my head and well, collectively, or to throw in a cliché-'things changed'. And now that I am well over those high-times during my second year at college and now that I can't call myself a freak-out, fun-loving sophomore-revamping and dusting-off my blog-making a return...

I consider myself very lucky to be alive today…to witness all that the millennium era has to offer us. Revolution has become more of a necessity than a miracle. I, with great pride hold a claim that the technical circle has been (and will always…) enjoying the lion’s share of metamorphosis...and am very delighted to be a part of this technical assemblage.

…

I never did imagine that such an incidental year would be my penultimate year as a kid (I’m a full-fledged 18 yr old adult now☺). Lets speak numbers…how many new faces...’words’ I’ve spoken...hearts broken…hugs…kisses…tears…This has been an exotic mélange of sweet reminiscences and disastrous one’s…Well, I for one don’t have the habit of writing diaries, in fear of being red by unwanted eyes. But I know I can’t contain these thoughts for long, and I needed a medium very badly to pour myself >>words…

The Past

“It was probably a bad case of insomnia- I just can’t sleep! What was wrong with me? Am I okay? Is everything around me alright?” These were the very words I had penned down to my notepad. “I was sitting on the bed with my back to the wall and my eyes affixed to the pious idols of our sacred religion. Was it doing any good…? NO! Everything was just beyond my ken. Maybe I should just put everything aside and try to get some sleep-and there-right back from where we started-sleeplessness.

“It was the vacation after my common examinations-supposedly the best vacation of your life…a time for rejuvenation, to make up for all that you have missed during the course of spending a studious academic year. But I deserve this not! This vacation ritual was only for those who had sold their souls out and studied for the examinations. Not me-Never me……

…

That, I suppose, was the time when I had discovered a lone confider and congenial companion in the pages of my notepad.

…

The imaginary wheel of time kept rolling. I received my admit card from my college for a science graduation course. Due to some stupid reasons, I had been misinformed about the ‘Orientation Day’ at college. I sat at home missing the first day and blaming everyone for the unfortunate mishap, cussing everything that came into sight. It was a feeling of unrest fueled by provocation, as I began to ‘hope’ for the next day at college…

“We don’t hope for the same things, but we all hope…”

-Dan Brown

Second day- I walked along the corridor, past the other blocks, and headed for my class room-not knowing what awaited me inside. As I entered the room, I was immediately caught up in a pang of jealousy. People had apparently formed their ‘chotta chotta’ groups sans me! As I walked deeper into the room, I found the only ‘welcome’ seat on the third desk from the front. There were four girls in all and I was the fifth. It was a bit crammed and I was desperately fighting the urge to stand up and find a better place with a comfortable seating. It was the girl to my right (I sat at the left corner) who sparked a conversation about our syllabus and books and bags. A couple of minutes later, the others joined me one by one. Myrtle* (who later was to become my close buddy) and I learnt that we shared our b’days on the same day. That was how I remembered her-‘the girl whose b’day is on the 11^th of May’. The other two girls were, as I learnt later, alumni of the same school and found it easier to move along (again, one of them was to become my bf-Pinky) …

Days passed, and there were freshers coming every now and then. One among them was Andy who is my twin soul. She had discontinued her professional course due to some unforgivable events and joined us…

The first few freshman months at college were anything but passable. As months went by, things changed. We didn’t learn to cope up, as one would have guessed, instead, we found loop-holes in the system and began to live the typical college-goers’ life.

……and the rest was history……

I’ve just begun my sophomore life at college…

The Present

(Today, 25th, Oct '10)